• B-Man

"And That's How The Fight Started" Jokes

Updated: May 21


And That's How The Fight Started Jokes
And That's How The Fight Started Jokes

And That's How The Fight Started With My Mother-In-Law


A few years ago year, I thought it would be good idea to purchase a cemetery plot as a birthday present for my mother-in-law...

The following year, I didn't get her a present.

She was not to happy about this and questioned why I didn't get her a present.

I responded "Well, you still haven't used the birthday present which I purchased for you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....




And That's How The Fight Started With My Wife (and Husband)


I went out for a few drinks with my wife to our local bar. We were enjoying a few drinks when I noticed that she kept on looking at a drunken man who was smashing back drinks all by himself in the corner of the room.

I asked her, "Do you know that man?"

"Yes", she said sadly,

"He is my old flame who I dated in high school, I heard that he hit the bottle hard immediately after we broke up years ago, and he hasn't been a sober man since."

"Oh my gosh!" I replied, "Who would think a person could continue celebrating for so long?"

And that's how the fight started...



My lovely wife kept dropping hints about what to get her for her upcoming birthday.

She told me, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 4 seconds."

I went out and bought her a bathroom scale.

And that's how the fight started......



My wife was standing naked in front of the bathroom mirror.

She had a look of frustration on her face and turned to me and said. "I no longer am happy with my appearance. I feel awful and I look wrinkled, fat and old. I really need you to give me a compliment to make me feel better."

I responded, "My darling, you have 20 20 vision."

And that's how the fight started...



My wife sat down beside me on the couch as I was channel surfing with the remote.

She then proceded to say, "Oh, what is that on the TV?"

I replied, "Dust."

And that's how the fight started...



I was in bed watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" with my wife.

I rolled over and asked her 'Do you want to have some fun?'

She looked me in the eye and quickly responded with a resounding "No".

I proceeded to ask her, 'Is that your final answer?'

... Without hesitation she replied, 'Yes..'

I then said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started..



On Saturday I took the wife out for a few drinks.

I pointed over at another couple night sitting at a table and said to my wife, "do you see that couple over there? She gives him a kiss every few minutes. Why don't you do that?"

She replied, "That sounds great, but I don't even know him."

And that's when the fight started.



I was out for dinner with my wife at our local bistro.

The waiter, comes up to us and asks me what we would like for our mains.

"I would like T-Bone steak, medium please"

He replied, "Are you not concerned about the mad cow?"

To which I then said "No, she will order for herself."

And that's when the fight started....



It was a lovely warm sunny summer Sunday so I decided to drive my family to the seaside.

After driving for a while the children started getting restless and asked "Where's the beech daddy?".

I replied, "She is right beside me in the passenger seat"

And that's when the fight started.



My wife kept playing with her wedding ring so I asked her, “honey, why do you keep turning and twisting your ring?”

To which she replied, “I am trying to figure out the combination.”

And that’s when the fight started!



My husband and I were lying under the bed covers when he touched my back, I said, "that feels great." He continued to touch my leg, I then said, "wow, you know that feels even better."

Then all at once he stopped. I asked him, "why did you stop darling?"

He replied, "I found the remote."

And that’s when the fight started.



It has been raining cats and dogs all week and my husband is really starting to get frustrated and angry. He just keeps standing by the window, staring at us.

If this continues, I am going to have to let him in.

And that’s when the fight started!