Keep Laughing Forever with these hilariously Funny Insults!

If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.

You're so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet.

 

You're so ugly that when you tried to enter an ugly contest the judges said, "sorry, no professionals".

You're so ugly that when you went to the haunted house you came out with a job application.

You're so fat that when you got on the scales they said I need your weight not your phone number"

 

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.

 

 

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

No I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.

It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

 

 

 

 

If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents.

 

 

 

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

 

 

 

 

I guess you prove that even god makes mistakes sometimes.

 

 

 

 

The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.

 

 

 

You're so fake, Barbie is jealous.

 

 

 

 

I’m jealous of people that don’t know you!

 

 

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

 

 

 

You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.

 

 

 

 

If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

 

 

 

 

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

 

 

 

 

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

 

 

 

 

Brains aren't everything. In your case they're nothing.

 

 

 

 

I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.

 

 

 

 

I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.

 

 

 

 

Roses are red, violets are violet, my life is better, without you inside it.

 

The roses have gone, the flowers are dead, the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

 

Behind every fat woman there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, your in the way.

 

 

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

 

 

Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?"
Boyfriend: "You're both."
Girlfriend: "What do you mean?"
Boyfriend: "You're pretty ugly."

Some babies were dropped on their heads but you were clearly thrown at a wall.

 

 

 

 

Don't like my sarcasm, well I don't like your stupid.

 

 

 

 

Why don't you go play in traffic.

 

 

 

Please shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.

 

I'd slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

 

They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.

 

 

 

 

Stop trying to be a smart ass, you're just an ass.

 

 

The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it.

 

 

 

 

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

 

If ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence.

Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is working overtime.

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma.

If you are going to be 2 faced, at least make one of them pretty.

Keep rolling your eyes, perhaps you will find a brain back there.

All day I thought of you...... I was at the zoo.

You have "mint" breath. Mint to brush your teeth and forgot.

I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

Q: Have you ever seen a jackass wrapped in plastic?

A: Show me your license.

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