Funny Jokes About Jobs!

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Funny Job Joke About Different Profession Tans

 

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Working in the mirror factory is something I can literally see myself doing

 

 

I am always late for work but I make up for it by always leaving early.

 

 

 

 

I hired a handyman and gave him a list of jobs to do. Of the jobs on the list, he only completed numbers 1,3,5 and 7. Turns out he only does odd jobs.

 

 

 

I took an exam last week to see if I could become an insect inspector.

I think I will get the job because I boxed all the right ticks.

Working as a lumberjack for the past 3 years I know that I have cut down 10,432 trees.

How you ask?

Everytime I cut one down I keep a log.

 

 

 

 

I worked a few months as a tailor last year.

I wasn't really suited for it and the work was so-so.

 

 

 

 

Why did the bloke have to quit his job at Ford installing mufflers?

It was just too exhausting.

 

 

 

 

Why couldn't the guy be a fulltime fisherman?

The net income wasn't enough.

Why did the man have to quit his job fixing baths, sinks and showers?

The work was just too draining.

People are often shocked when they find out what a bad electrician I am.

I tried to spend this summer making orange juice.

I had to stop the job because I couldn't concentrate.

I got a commerce degree and then tried my luck as an investment banker.

It was a fun gig for a while but I eventually quit because I lost interest.

Employer: For this role the candidate needs to be responsible

Me: I'm your man, in my last job whenever anything bad happened the boss always said to me "you are responsible".

How many optometrists does it take to screw in a light bulb.. 1 or 2? 1.. or 2?

I work as a lifeguard, it is my job is to actively fight natural selection.

A man was brutally attacked then robbed and left bleeding and bruised in the street.

A Psychologist rushes up to the man and says: "Dear lord! Whoever did this really needs some help!"

I have a hilarious joke about a courier, but I am afraid you may not get it.

 

 

 

 

 

How can you tell if a lead singer is at your front door?

He is not sure where to come in and he is unable to find the key

 

 

 

 

In retail, there are 2 important things to learn which are honesty and empathy, and the sooner you learn to fake these the better you will be at your job.

Where do typists go to get drunk?

The space bar.

Today I walked down a street where many computer programmers live.

The houses were numbered 64k, 128k, 256k, 512k and 1MB.

For some reason it felt like a trip down memory  lane.

Boss: Why do I always have to come looking for you?

Me: Because a good worker is hard to find.

I had a job selling bras for a while, but I couldn't support myself.

I worked at a coffee cup packaging factory for a short while, it just wasn't my cup of tea I guess.

I worked as a barber for a while there, I just couldn't cut it.

I once worked for an elevator company, the job had its ups and downs.

I sold glasses for a while but I couldn't really see myself making any money.

As I get older, I think of all the people I have lost along the way.

Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.

I didn't think my chiropractor was very good.

However now I stand corrected.

I have decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because the weights are too heavy.

I am going to hand in my too weak notice.

Why did the nurse carry a red pen around with her?

In case she needed to draw blood

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