Keep Laughing Forever with these hilariously Funny Animal Jokes!
Two fish swim in a concret wall.
One turns to the other and says "Dam".
Two cows were standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you" said Dolly.
"It's true, straight up, no bull!"
Policeman: "Excuse me sir, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle"
Dog Owner: "Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle"
Did you hear about the scientists who crossed a porcupine with a sheep?
They got an animal that knits its own jerseys.
If it sounds like a duck, has a beak like a duck, feet like a duck and swims like a duck, you still better make sure that it is not a platypus.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: "Put it on my bill."
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game?
A: Their bats flew away.
Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
A: Because he was always spotted.
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man? A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
Q: How do you count cows?
A: With a cowculator.
Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?
A: A pork chop.
Two guys are walking through a game park & they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, "Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord." He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion. As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the it saying a prayer: "Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive."
Q: Why did the fish blush?
A: Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
Where do mice park their boats?
At the hickory dickory dock.
How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night time?
With flood lighting
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard! Its the best thing for a hot dog.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I am the walrus, Coo coo cachoo (only Beatles fans will get this one!)