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Mexican Food Jokes
What do you call a stoned Mexican?
Baked beans
Why was the Mexican food so cold?
Because it was a brrrrrrrito
How do you get Mexican food at the beach.
Just dig your feet into the sand, then you will have buriedtoes.
What is the best time to eat Mexican food?
Juan o'clock.
What was the robots favourite Mexican dish?
Silicon Carnee.
Be careful of those chilli peppers, they get jalapeno business.
Why did the detective go to the Mexican restaurant?
He was looking for a case-idea
What is a Mexican ghosts favourite food?
Refright beans
Did you hear about the sick Mexican man?
He tested positive for taco vid 19.
What do you call a stunning lady that appreciates her Mexican food.
A Taco Belle.
My ex wife was into painting and eating Mexican food.
She was very artsy-fartsy
A guy on my tour of Mexico ate some bad Mexican food for dinner.
I asked him what it was but he wouldn't taco bout it.
I was in art class and we were painting some Mexican food.
Just as we were finishing I asked the teacher if she liked my tortillas and she just replied "that's a wrap".
How do Mexicans keep warm?
They use chicken Fajitas.
What is Sherlock Holmes favourite Mexican dish?
Case Ideas
Indian Food Jokes
Do you know any good jokes about Indian food?
Because we have naan.
Where did Vin go after he ate a super hot curry?
Da loo.
My mate left our local Indian restaurant without paying, the next day he got very sick.
I'm guessing it was bad korma.
If you want to buy a book on Indian cooking you first need to find the naan fiction section of the bookstore.
I went to my Indian friends house for dinner last night, I tried to tell a joke about Indian food but my friend told me that those jokes don't curry much weight around here.
I went to my local curry house and ordered the special which was pelican curry.
It was delicious but the bill was huge.
What do you call the driver who delivers Indian food?
A curryer
What do you call Indian Banana bread?
Banananaan
Italian Food Jokes
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night.
I should have cooked it on Aloha temperature.
My sister bet me that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti.
You should've seen her face when I drove pasta.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and says "can you make me one with everything"
Did you hear about the Italian Chef that died while cooking?
He pasta way.
I lost my pizza cutter. I had to use a Bryan Adams CD.
It cuts like a knife.
Where do all of the poor Italians live?
In the Spaghetto.
What did the man with dyslexia order at his local Italian restaurant?
Tapas.
Why couldn't the Italian man get into his house?
Because he had gnocchi
What did the Italian order at the Chinese restaurant?
Ciao Mein.
Where do Italian fisherman get their food?
The marinara trench.
Where did the pasta dance with the jar of sauce?
At the meat ball.
I had a joke about a pizza I was going to tell you, but it was way too cheesy.
Chinese Food Jokes
How much does Chinese food weigh?
Wonton
What did the Mexican order at the Chinese restaurant?
Juan tons.
Chinese food takeaways $20. Petrol cost to go pick it up $2. Getting home only to find that they forgot one of my dishes... Riceless.
I just couldn't decide which asian takeout food I like the best, Japanese or Chinese. I ended up calling it a Thai.
My family and I went to a Chinese restaurant and ordered spring rolls.
Dad: "Wow, looks like they have winter in them as well."
Me (sigh) "Oh dad."
Dad: "Oh come on, there was nothing Wong with that."
My Chinese waiter thinks that all white people look the same. In fact look, he is delivering our food to the wrong table right now! Hang on... wait a minute.... that isn't my waiter at all.
Luke Skywalker and Obi Wan are out at a Chinese restaurant and Luke is really battling trying to use the chopsticks to feed his face. After a while Obi Wan turns to him and says "use the forks luke".
Have you ever tried Chinese dumplings?
They really are the dogs bollocks.
More Corny Food Jokes
I just burned 2000 calories.
That is the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
My wife asked for peace and quiet while she cooked dinner. So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
I just learned that french fries are not from France at all.
They were first cooked in Greece.
Why do clumsy farmers make good DJs?
They are good at dropping beets.
How does Moses make tea?
He brews
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink
Turns out it was the fridge
People often ask me how I smuggle chocolate into the cinema?
Well.....
I have a few twix up my sleeve.
Q: What do you call a sad strawberry?
A: A blueberry
Q: Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?
A: Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
A: Lettuce get together!
Q: What did the Egg say to the boiling water?
A: It's going to take a little while to get me hard I just got laid by some chick!
Q: Why did the students eat their homework?
A: Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
Q: Why do watermelons have fancy weddings?
A: Because they cantaloupe.
Q: How do kleptomaniacs like their eggs cooked?
A: Poached
Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.
Q: What do you call the king of vegetables?
A: Elvis Parsley.
Q: What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden
A: Seizure salad
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
Q: "What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?"
A: "I want you inside me!"
Q: What happens if life gives you melons?
A: Your dyslexic
This morning I saw that someone had dropped a lot of celery outside my bedroom window.
I think I am being stalked.
Q: What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig?
A: Pulled-Pork
Q: Why are men like coffee?
A: The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
Apparently you can't use "beefstew" as a password
It's not stroganoff.
I always knock on the fridge door before opening it, just in case there is a salad dressing inside.
I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plant.
You have probably never heard of herbivore.
If anyone gets a message about canned meat from me, do NOT open it!
It is spam.
A man walks into his doctors office and starts complaining about a sore bum.
Upon examination the doctor says "buddy, there is a lettuce sticking out of your bum!"
The man replies "That is only the tip of the iceberg"
I bought my wife a new refrigerator for Christmas.
I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
I went to an extremely emotional wedding last weekend, even the wedding cake was in tiers.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It was not peeling well.
My brother just threw a carton of milk at me.
How dairy.
How do you introduce a hamburger?
Meat pattie.
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What kind of potato likes talking about sports?
A commontater
Did you hear about the explosion that occurred at the cheese factory in France?
Nothing was left except de-brie
I went shopping to purchase some candle holders. They didn't have any so I just bought a cake instead.
Wife: "Please go and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get six."
A little later on the husband walks in the front door with six cartons of milk.
Wife: "Why on earth did you buy six cartons of milk?"
Husband: "They had eggs"
A month before my uncle died he was covered in lard. From that point on, he went downhill fast.
When I was a child I had a strange illness which meant I had to eat dirt at least once a day so I didn't die in my sleep. I'm so grateful that my older sister was present to warn me about it.
I had an amazing surprise meal which I was secretly cooking for my girlfriend, unfortunately the firetrucks spoiled the surprise.
What did fifty cent do when he became hungry?
58
A German friend of mine tells me that they are panic buying sausages. Apparently it is a Wurst Kase scenario.
A sandwich walks into a bar, barman says "sorry, we don't serve food in here".
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an orange.
I met a man selling candy canes.
They were all in mint condition.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
A man walks into a wedding, goes up to the bartender and says " is this the punch line?"
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
Where do you go to learn how to make icecream?
Sunday school.
What did one nut say as he chased another nut?
I'm a cashew.
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
I knew that I shouldn't take a food mixer from my work.
But it was a whisk that I was willing to take.
What did the late tomato say to the early tomato?
I'll ketchup
What do you call a corn cob that joins the army?
Kernel.
Why were the 2 cheeses identical?
They were cut from the same mold.
Which US state has the smallest canned beverages?
Mini-soda.
Why did the poor man steal a bunch of yeast?
He needed to raise some dough.
Why do French people eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
I was going to start up a new bakery business.
Unfortunately I didn't have the dough to do it.
A man walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch.
Bartender says "Sir, if you want a punch you'll have to stand in line"
The man looks around, but there is no punch line.
I ate a big mac just before i swabbed my cheek for my ancestry DNA test.
Turns out I am related to Ronald McDonald.
I saw a bag of gummy worms that said no artificial flavour.
Who buys gummy worms hoping that they taste like real worms?.
I finally got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow and nuts.
It was a Rocky Road..
Why did the packet of bacon go to the skin specialist?
It had multiple rashes.
What do you call an annoying German child?
A Bratwurst.
Why do you often get hot whilst waiting for a haircut?
Because you are in a barber queue
My neighbour told me he was too afraid to grow and apple tree.
I told him to grow a pear.
What kind of doctor is Dr pepper?
A fizzician.
Someone threw a bottle of mayonnaise at me.
I said "what the Hellman?"
What is the best pan to make sushi in?
Japan.
My wife told me to pick up 8 cans of soda on my way home from work.
She was pretty mas when I only picked 7 up.
I ate alphabet soup then urgently had to use the bathroom.
It was a vowel movement.
Did you hear about the restaurant called karma?
There is no menu, you just get what you deserve.
Did you hear about the 2 slices of bread that snuck away to get married?
They eloafed.
More Bread Jokes here
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