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The Best Harry And Meghan Markle Jokes

Updated: Jun 22, 2023


Harry and Meghan joke

We have put together a collection of the funniest jokes about Harry and Meghan.


It is no secret that Harry and Meghan have been a hot controversial topic around the world since their departure away from the royal family. A lot of the controversy comes from the fact that they seem to want their privacy, but at the same time have given interviews such as their famous one with Oprah Winfrey.


Nevertheless, with controversy comes humour and jokes. We have compiled the best jokes about Harry and Meghan.


Returned Prince Harry's book back to the bookstore today

Didn't tell me anything about an ok score in bowling



What bands played at Meghan Markle's nuptials?

Nine Inch Veils and Wedding Train.



If Meghan or Harry farts, is it a noble gas?



What is the hottest new TV show in the UK?

Sussex in the City.



What wedding present did most English citizens give Harry & Meghan?

20% of their earnings for the past 5 years!



Did you hear about the new Ceremony the Royal Palace Guards preform when Prince Harry is in town?

It's called, "The Changing of the Locks".



How did Meghan Markle get a prince to fall for her?

She wore a raspberry beret.



Why is the Royal Mail looking forward to putting Meghan Markle on stamps?

Because Englishmen won't mind licking her backside!



What did Prince Harry do to get ready for married life?

Saved the princess in Mario Kart!



Who is Meghan Markle's favorite movie character of all time?

Dirty Harry.



Why couldn't Rachel Zane and her husband go to the beach?

They forgot their swimming SUITS.



I went into the bookstore and asked if they'd sold out of Prince Harry's new autobiography.

They said no, they still had a few Spare.



Prince Harry is leaving the royal family to become a painter

He's going to be the artist formerly known as Prince.....



What do you call Prince Harry and Meghan living in the USA?

A Royal aBroad



Prince Harry goes up to William at the wedding and says “Have you seen Dad”?

William replies “He wasn’t invited mate, but mines over there dancing with Camilla”.



Have you heard about the new royal pair?

They presented her with a special new royal bra.



The paparazzi offered Meghan Markle a briefcase full of money in exchange for some topless pics.

They said "Deal Or No Deal?"



What did Rachel Zane name her daughter?

Sue



When Prince Harry had his Bachelor Party in London, he said "It's really weird stuffing money into a stripper's G string when every bill has a photo of your grandmother printed on it."



Why isn't Meghan Markle able to go to Starbucks anymore?

They don't serve royal-tea.



What did Meghan Markle say about Harry when speaking to Katy Perry?

I kissed an Earl and I liked it.



What is the title for Prince Harry's next book?

Diss-spare.



Prince Harry: Did you know it is a proven fact that women talk twice as much as men?

Meghan Markle: That's because we have to repeat everything we tell our husbands.

Prince Harry: What?



Meghan Markle finally decided to get rid of all her dollars and went to a currency exchange. The clerk told Meghan she had 200 pounds on her and Meghan immediately slapped the clerk across the face. Apparently there was mass confusion.



Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were down on their luck.

They took one of their prized possessions—The Star of The Empire, one of the worlds largest diamonds—to a famous yet discreet pawn shop outside of Las Vegas to ask for a loan. The pawnbroker said "So I talked to my buddy who is an expert in diamonds to get his opinion. I can give you $200,000 for it." Prince Harry said "You must be joking, I had this appraised at nearly 2 million pounds! Don't you know who I am, I'm a prince! My mother is Queen of The United Kingdom, Elizabeth II!!" The pawnbroker said "$200k, take it or leave it. When you wish to pawn a star, makes no difference who you are..."



Keep right on laughing by checking out one of our other joke categories or read one of our funny articles.

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