Top Ten Jokes About Vegans
Updated: Mar 22
There is no doubt about it, there some very outspoken vegans out there that have made it very easy for the rest of us to come up with funny vegan jokes. Hey, we aren't saying that all vegans are preachers but there are definitely a lot of them out there and no doubt you have run into the highly opinionated ones at some point on your journey.
Well, if you are looking to wind a vegan up or maybe just make your meat eater buddies laugh, we have put together our top ten vegan jokes to get you laughing and possibly get you in trouble with your vegan friends too.
OK, into the jokes, our top ten Vegan Jokes in no particular order...
10. My youngest child is currently taking part in an experiment for a school assignment where he has to wear a sweater which says "GO VEGAN" on the front for a month. So far, the poor little fella has been abused, punched, spit on and had things thrown at him. We are all very curious to see what happens to him when he ventures outside.
9. How does a vegan threaten someone?
"I'm about to give you a beet down".
8. What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
7. I was at a restaurant the other day and overheard this conversation.
Customer: "I don't eat honey, eggs, cheese, dairy or any meat products. What can I get?"
Waiter: "You can get the hell out of here"
6. How can you tell if someone is a vegan?
Don't worry, they will tell you within 10 seconds of meeting them.
5. They have finally discovered the origin of the word vegan. It is apparently an old Indian word for "bad hunter".
4. Do you know what being vegan is?
It is a huge missed steak.
3. Why are most ghosts vegans?
Because it is super natural
2. A young couple meet on tinder and are out on their first date.
The young lady asks the man what he does for a living?
The man replies "I am butcher." The lady replies "well I am a vegan and I think that is gross."
The man responds "well if I sold vegetables I would be grocer."
One: My mouth always waters when I am cooking tasty steaks and sausages on my BBQ. I guess that this is what vegans experience when they mow their lawn.
When I was a kid I literally thought that this little piggy went to market meant that it went shopping.
What is the difference between a vegan and a computer programmer?
One is disgusted by a rack of lamb, the other is disgusted by a lack of RAM.
We hope that you got a laugh out of these jokes and if you are a vegan we hope that you were able to have a laugh at these jokes too! No offence intended!
Check out our other food jokes here