The Best And Worst Anti Jokes

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Firstly, what is an "Anti-Joke"? An Anti-Joke is a joke that has a different kind of humor. The intention of an anti-joke is to have a punchline which is not funny, in fact because the punchline is such a let down the joke then actually becomes funny! Read on and enjoy these terrible or terribly funny "anti-jokes" depending on which side of the fence you sit on!

 

 

 

Why are T-Rex's unable to clap their hands?

Because they are extinct.

What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"

Incorrect. What begins with "w" and ends with "hat".

I'm on a seafood diet.

It is going to be really tough for me, I lost a bet to a friend and the problem is I am a vegetarian.

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "hey, we have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replies "What, you have a drink called Steve?"

 

 

 

What is red and extremely bad for your teeth?

A flying brick.

 

 

 

What did number 7 say to number 9?

Nothing, numbers don't talk.

 

 

 

What is the funniest of all anti jokes?

Definitely not this one.

 

 

 

What ended after 1984?

1985

 

 

 

What did the American guy say to the other American guy?

Hi there, my name is also Guy.

 

 

 

A group of ducks flew overhead in a V formation.

Do you know why one side of the V is longer than the other?

It has more ducks.

 

 

 

What did one German man say to the other German man?

I have no idea, I can't speak German.

 

 

 

What do you call a talking turtle?

A cartoon.

 

 

 

What do you call a carwash that won't was cars anymore?

Broken.

 

 

 

What is the best part about Switzerland?

Personally I love the beautiful mountains and scenery.

 

 

 

If you took every in the unemployment line and laid them all head to toe, they would all be a lot more comfortable.

 

 

 

What is brown and sticky?

Mud.

 

 

 

What is the opposite of a country water well?

A metropolitan sewer pipe.

 

 

 

A man walks into a bar, another man walks into the bar. Many people are walking into the bar.

It is a great night for business.

 

 

 

Why did the man put hot water in the freezer?

because he wanted to make ice cubes for his guests drinks.

 

 

 

A man died after eating 300 hot dogs.

Don't eat 300 hot dogs.

 

 

 

What do you call a blonde attending cooking school?

I know one called Barbara, she is doing really well and one day I am sure she will be a successful chef.

 

 

 

A bartender walks into a bar, he was off to work for the night.

 

 

 

I am not from an English speaking country.

Because countries are unable to speak.

 

 

 

Shrek walks into a bar.

Just kidding, Shrek is a fictional character.

 

 

 

A blonde walks into church to confess a sin to the church priest.

Unfortunately he is away for the day so the blonde must return again tomorrow.

 

 

 

Why did the blonde lady have trouble driving at night.

She had an issue with her current pair of glasses, she will get them fixed this week though.

 

 

 

A man stumbles upon an old lamp in a cave.

He turns it on so he can see where he is going.

 

 

 

What has 2 thumbs and won't crap?

Me because I am constipated.

 

 

 

I like my coffee like I like my coffee.

Coffee.

 

 

 

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a turtle?

Nothing, those 2 animals are unable to cross breed.

 

 

 

What do you call a ladybug that is a man?

A ladybug.

 

 

 

What is the hardest thing about cooking vegetables?

Absolutely nothing! Stop making excuses and start eating your greens.

 

 

 

Knock knock.

Who's there?

It is a delivery of flowers and chocolate to cheer you up.

 

 

 

What is the best way not to die?

Live

 

 

 

My girlfriend asked me what she should do if she gets rear ended.

I told her to ensure her insurance payments are up to date and possibly install a towbar for protection.

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "why the long face?"

The horse, is in no mood for conversation, he promptly turns around and leaves without a word.

The bar manager, sees the entire incident and calls the bartender into his office to have a frank and unpleasant discussion about the bartender's future employment at the establishment.

What is blue and looks like a couch?

My couch.

What do you call a cat that is drinking?

A cat.

What is the worst time to get a haircut?

When you don't want a haircut.

What is chewy, rare and really hard to find?

"Red Skins" are a chewy candy candy in Australia that were discontinued after the George Floyd incident. The candys will still be sold but under a different name now.

Do you know how old I was around 9-11?

9-11.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

I'm not not entirely sure, but chickens tend to travel in random directions sometimes with no real intention.

What is pink, rare and difficult to eat?

Raw pork meat.

I made a list of my favorite anti-jokes. The first 10 are great but the last one is gold.

01) great

02) great

03) great

04) great

05) great

06) great

07) great

08) great

09) great

10) great

11) gold

Why did the chicken cross the road? (punchline is different)

Different

 

 

More jokes below!

 

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