Keep Laughing Forever Favourite Jokes

 

​One difference between men and women is that when a woman says

"smell this", it usually smells nice.

I think my wife has started to show the first signs of Alzheimers...

She said she can't remember what she ever saw in me!

 

 

I recently purchased a toilet brush.

Long story short I'm going back to toilet paper.

 

 

 

I went for a walk with a girl the other day.

When she noticed me, we went for a run.

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.

She still isn't talking to me.

If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

How do you introduce a hamburger?

Meat pattie

 

 

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked suprised.

I almost dropped my phone on my soft carpeted floor, but thank god I have got lightning reflexes and was able to slap it into the wall instead.

A recent study has shown that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

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