Keep Laughing Forever Favourite Jokes
One difference between men and women is that when a woman says
"smell this", it usually smells nice.
I think my wife has started to show the first signs of Alzheimers...
She said she can't remember what she ever saw in me!
I recently purchased a toilet brush.
Long story short I'm going back to toilet paper.
I went for a walk with a girl the other day.
When she noticed me, we went for a run.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
How do you introduce a hamburger?
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked suprised.
The shinbone is a device used for locating furniture in a dark room.
I almost dropped my phone on my soft carpeted floor, but thank god I have got lightning reflexes and was able to slap it into the wall instead.
A recent study has shown that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
If you ever see me out jogging, please kill whatever is chasing me.