Funniest Anti Vaxxer Jokes
Updated: Jan 22, 2022
We have put together a collection of the funniest anti vaxxer jokes and memes that we could find. We are not looking to trigger or offend anyone here, we just love laughss, and after all this is a humor website!
With the highly controversial subject of vaccinations dominating the internet it is unsurprising that a truckload of memes and anti vaxxer jokes have surfaced relating to this.
Where there is controversy there is an opportunity for humor!
Ok, let's get right into the anti vaxxer jokes.
My Anti Vaxxer girlfriend asked me about trying to make a baby with her.
Apparently "let's give it a shot" wasn't the right answer.
Why do anti-vaxxers not lock their bikes?
Because they know someone whose locked bike was still stolen.
Our old nanny is a complete anti vaxxer.
Her name is Mrs Doubt Pfizer.
I'm a proud anti-vaxx mother of three children!
EDIT: I'm a proud anti-vaxx woman!
What’s the difference between an anti-vaxxer and a hot dog?
The hot dog might actually have some brains in it.
I'm not worried about anti vaxxers.
It is a dying movement.
Why was the four-year-old anti-vaxx child having a tantrum?
Mid life crisis.
What do Pi and anti-vaxxers have in common?
They’re both irrational.
How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They're happy living in the dark
Anti Vaxxers make me sick to the bone.
Well, they would if my mum and dad were fools.
Anti Vaxxer: Did you know that vaccines cause Autism.
Me: "I see you must have been vaccinated twice then."
It's always weird to come across an anti-vaxxer nowadays...
...they seem to be a dying breed
Did you know, anti-vaxxers don’t last as long in bed?
…especially if the bed is in a hospital.
What's the similarity between a racecar driver about to cross the finish line and an anti-vaxxer?
They both pass fast.
Why did the anti vaxxer get cut from the basketball team?
He refused to take the shot.
Why won't anti vaxxers laugh at this joke?
The just won't get it.
What game do anti-vaxxers like playing in the pool? Marco-Polio
What is the easiest was to trigger an anti vaxxer?
Just needle them a little.
Why are Anti Vaxxer posts so successful at being shared on social media?
They are experts at going viral.
Why are anti vaxxers unable to become bartenders?
They are scared to get near shots.
Why will anti-vaxx memes never die?
They’ll never get old
What advice did the anti vaxxer parent give to her child?
Life is too short to be taken seriously.
What brand of vaccum cleaners do anti vaxxers use?
Why did the anti vaxxer throw out their smoke alarms?
2 out of every 5 fire deaths occur at homes with smoke detectors.
Longer Anti Vaxxer Jokes
A nurse, a doctor, and an anti vaxxer walk into a bar.
The nurse takes a seat at the bar and orders, "I'll have a Cosmopolitan please"
The doctor sits next to her and says, "I'll take a shot of whiskey thanks!"
The anti-vaxver then says, "No shots for me." then proceeds to pass out from polio.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river.
The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that bridge safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural analysis and said "There is a 99.97% chance we'll make it across that bridge safely.
The anti-vaxxer responded, without even thinking "Forget that, I'm swimming!"
An anti vaxxer walks into her doctors appointment to get her test results.
The doctor says to her "Your test results are in and I'm sorry to say that I don't have good news for you."
"Nonsense," replies the anti-vaxxer. "I don't trust your twisted pharmaceutical industry. My entire life I have relied on natural remedies instead of medication, and the only diagnosis I will ever accept is based on my horoscope."
"Fair enough, in that case tell me your star -sign." said the doctor.
The anti-vaxxer replied "My star sign is Cancer."
The doctor said "Well what a damn coincidence..."
A man walks into a shop that sells brains, he walks up to the shop assistant and says 'I hope you can help me, I'd like to buy a new brain". The shop assistants responds "no problem, here are some of our brains we have on sale" "Here's the brain of a scientist, 5 dollars." "Here's our second special deal for today. The brain of an anti-vaxxer, 20,000 dollars". The man, completely perplexed, asks "Why is the brain of an anti-vaxxer more expensive than of a scientist?" "Because it's never been used" The shop assistant replies.
Always got to support local business!
Long term vaccine effects can apparently be brutal but hey, I will smoke a cigarette or two. This anti vaxxer joke is fire!
Omicron is magically making people disappear, where are they going? It is a mystery...
Let us be glad that seatbelts are not being introduced in the year 2022. There could be major backlash.
Don't be a clown, wear the correct mask.
Poor little ducks!