Funny Jokes For Halloween 2023
Updated: Jan 16
Halloween is all about frights and laughter so we have put together a collection of the funniest Halloween jokes ever to grace the internet.
Let's get right into the laughs.
I saw my son eating chocolate even after I confiscated all his Halloween candy. I asked him where he got that from. He said,
"I always have a few twix up my sleeve."
Halloween in 2021 is going to be very Covid safe.
Everyone will be wearing a mask.
Why did the monster go to the barber?
Because he needed a scare cut.
My wife's Halloween costume this year is scary but so freaking hot
She's a ghost pepper.
What did the romantic ghost boy want for Halloween?
What do you call a zombie garage sale?
A dead giveaway.
In preparation for Halloween, a wizard asked me to proof read one of his books last week
Yeah ... it was more of a Spell Checker
Have you experienced Japanese Halloween?
It will Honshu
For Halloween I’m going to be a blowup stack of money
Walking around saying “yeah inflation is crazy now huh?”
Last Halloween I got lost at a haunted cannabis farm.
It was scary but I was in high spirits
what do you call an instrument played on Halloween?
A guy walks into a bar and notices that it is decorated for Halloween. "That's a really beautiful pumpkin you have sitting on the bar," he tells the bartender. "In fact, I'd even call it gourdgeous."
How do you fix a cracked jack-o-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch.
What is a mummies favourite genre of music?
If you like spooky jokes you will love our collection of skeleton jokes
A skeleton walks into a bar and says to the bartender "I'll have a beer please, and a mop".
What do you call a lie which is told by a skeleton?
A long halloween joke
A huge vampire bat came flying in from the night covered in bright red blood and sat himself on the ceiling of the cave so he could go to sleep. After a few seconds the other vampire bats smelled the sweet fresh blood that covered the huge vampire bat and began asking him relentlessly about where he got the blood. He told them to leave him alone and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in. “OK fine, follow me then” he screeched and flew out of the cave with hundreds of his vampire bat friends flying behind him. Down out the cave they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he cautiously started slowing down and all the other vampire bats excitedly gathered around him. “Now, do you see that tree over there?” he asked. “Yes, Yes! We see it!” the vampire bats all screamed in a frenzy. “Good” said the giant vampire bat, “Because I sure as hell didn’t!”