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Funny Zebra

Funny Zoo Puns










Yesterday I went to a zoo that only has one dog in the entire zoo.

It was a shit-zhu

I met the love of my life when I visited the zoo. She was standing by the giraffe enclosure wearing her uniform.

Straight away I knew she was a keeper.

What is the best key to open up a zoo with?

A monkey.




What did the male rhino say to the female rhino?

Rhino someone who really likes you.




I visited the zoo the other day and I saw a loaf of sourdough in a cage.

I read the sign below and it said "bread in captivity".

What do lions get for their lunch at the zoo?

Half an hour, the same as the elephants.

What do you call an alligator that has a magnifying glass and wears a vest?

An investigator.




Why should you never play games around the wild cat enclosure at the zoo?

There are too many cheetahs.

The San Diego zoo just had a new lion added to the enclosure.

His name is roary.

What did the lion say to the zoo keeper that shaved its body bald but kept the mane?

.. Aww mane, no fur!

A whole lot of animals escaped from the aquarium section at the zoo.

Apparently it was otter disorder.

The strangest job that you can have at a zoo is cleaning up the faeces from the bottom of the monkey cage.

That shit really is bananas.

Why couldn't the koala get a position at the zoo?

He didn't have enough koalafications.

What did the owl say to his wife?

Doing anything tonight? Owl take you out if you aren't busy.




What did the female zookeeper wear when she went swimming?

A zoo-kini.

Did you hear that Postman Pat was fired from his weekend job at the zoo?

He wouldn't address the elephant in the room.

Last week a zookeeper left the gate open to the Panda enclosure and they all escaped.

It was complete Pandamonium.

All testing has ceased at the wildcat enclosure.

There were far too many cheetahs.

Why does the zoo always give the lions cage the best position?

It is always the mane attraction.

What do the crocodiles always sing when they see a picture of Freddie Mercury?

We will croc you.




Our local zoo has started a recycling initiate to raise money for a worthy cause.

When you visit the zoo, bring in one can to save the toucan.

A local park ranger tried to start a zoo featuring only flightless birds.

Unfortunately for him the business never really took off.

A zoo visitor called the police last week reporting indecent exposure.

Turns out it was just a bear bum that they saw.

I visited the zoo in the weekend and when I got there I immediately ran to the sealife enclosure only to find that my favourite animal was no longer there.

It was an otter disappointment.

Our zoo now has an area where you may pet cattle.

It is close encounters of the herd kind.

Took my kid to the zoo today, all of a sudden he yelled out "dad a frickin elephant there!"

We started getting strange looks from other zoo visitors so I said to my kid, "why did you say that?"

He replied "I am just reading what is on the sign". I looked at the sign and sure enough it read AFRICAN ELEPHANT.

I went to the zoo and saw a huge rainbow over the lion enclosure.

I thought to myself, ah, it must be gay pride week.

They have a huge bear at my zoo and it has no teeth.

It is the biggest gummy bear I have ever seen.

What did the male giraffe say to the female giraffe when it was mating season?

You are giraffing me crazy!



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