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Keep Laughing Forever With These Elephant Jokes And Puns
Q: Why don't elephants drink martinis?
A: Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose?
Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: Time to get a new fence.
Q: How can you tell if an elephant is hiding under your bed?
A: Your nose is pressed against the ceiling.
Q: How much does a dead elephant weigh?
A: A skeleton.
Q: How much does a Chinese elephant weigh?
Q: What is an elephants favourite sport to play all day long?
Q: What is the difference between elephants and dogs?
A: Dogs like to share their bark with everyone.
Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: So they have somewhere to hide when they see a mouse.
Q: What is really big, green and has a trunk.
A: An elephant that isn't ripe yet.
Q: How come you don't ever see elephants hiding in trees?
A: Because they're excellent at it
Q: Why is it not advisable to walk in the jungle between 6pm and 7pm?
A: Because that is when all of the elephants get out of the trees.
Q: How come there are still pygmies in the jungle?
A: Because they walked through the jungle between five and six
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
A: Elephino (hell if I know)
Q: What do you call an elephant that just doesn't really matter?
A: An irrelephant
Q: Why do elephants wear shoes with that have yellow soles?
A: So you are unable to see them when they float upside down in the custard.
Q: Have you ever seen an elephant floating upside down in custard?
A: No, of course you haven't, they wear yellow soled shoes.
Q: Why do yoou usually see elephants travelling in herds?
A: So that they can get a group discount on the shoes with yellow soles.
Q: What was the elephant doing on the motorway?
A: About 4 kmh.
Q: How can you fit four elephants in a mini cooper car?
A: Two in the front, two in the back.
Q: How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge?
A: You open the door and see the elephant.
Q: How do you know if there are two elephants in your fridge?
A: When the door doesn't quite close.
Q: How do you know if there are three elephants in your fridge?
A: They laugh when the light goes out.
Q: How do you know if there are four elephants in your fridge?
A: There is an empty mini cooper car parked outside your house.
Q: What is the best way to hide an elephant in a cherry tree?
A: You paint his toenails red.
Q: Ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree?
A: Well it obviously works.
Q: How do you an elephant up a tree?
A: Plant a seed under him and wait 50 years.
An elephant and a mouse went off to the movie theatre
The elephant sat down in front of the mouse, and it was getting pretty angry since it couldn't see anything on the screen. So it moved seats and sat in front of the elephant.
When they were going home the elephant asked the mouse why it had moved seats.
"So that you would understand how annyoing it is to have someone blocking your view at the cinema!!"
Q: How do you get down from an elephant?
A: You don't, you get down from a goose.
Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?
A: So that they don't sink in the sand.
Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?
A: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.
Q: What do you call elephants who ride on planes?
Q: Why is an elephant large, grey, and all wrinkly?
A: Because if it was tiny, white, and smooth, it would be an Aspirin.
Q: What is an elephants favourite musical?
A: The elephantom of the opera.
Q: What does an elephant use to stay cool on hot days in the summer?
A: An elephan
Q: Why did the elephants have to miss swimming?
A: They couldn't keep their trunks up
Q; What is really big and grey but also turns red?
A: An embarrassed elephant.
Q: Why are elephants unable to ride bicycles?
A: They don't have thumbs to ring the bells.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into your fridge?
Put in elephant
How many steps does it take to put a hippo into your fridge?
Take elephant out of fridge.
Put hippo into fridge.
Q: What is grey, stands in the middle of a river and when it rains and doesn’t get wet?
A: An elephant with an large umbrella!
Q: What is really beautiful, grey in colour and has a glass slipper?
Q: What has two tails, two trunks and six feet?
A: An elephant with spare parts.
Q: Why did the baby elephant have to borrow a bag?
A: Because he only had a little trunk.
Q: What is large, grey and has many red bumps all over?
A: An elephant that just walked through a swarm of angry bees.
Q: Why will elephants never be able to use computers?
A: Because they always run away from the mouse.
Q: There were 3 elephants under one umbrella, how did they manage to all stay dry?
A: It was a sunny day.
Q: What do bald elephants wear for a hair piece?
Q: What is the most effective way to stop an elephant from smelling?
A: Tie a knot in his trunk.
Q: Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
A: Because they're so good at it.
Q: What is an elephants favourite way to communicate with each other?
A: By using the Elephone
Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because he slipped and fell.
Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because he was tied to the first elephant.
Q: Why did the third elephant fall out?
A: He thought it was a game
Q: Why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant
Q: What type of ant is the hugest in the world?
A: An elephant
Q: What do you call an elephant who is using a phone booth?
Q: What do you call the red mushy stuff between an elephants toes?
A: Slow natives
Dirty Elephant Jokes
Q: You hear about the job opening for the elephant circumcisionist?
A: The pay isn’t great but the tips are huge.
Q: Why do male elephants paint their balls red?
A: So they can hide in apple trees.
Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: Giraffes eating apples.
Q: Where does a gangsta elephant hide the bodies?
A: In his trunk.
An elephant and a camel ran into each other on the bar.
The elephant drunkenly asked the camel: Why do you have boobies on your back?
To which the camel replied: Well why do you have a dingaling on your face!
Q: Why does an elephant have four feet?
A: He would look ridiculous with only four inches.
Q: What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs?
A: An elephant with diarrhea.
Q: What should you do if an elephant comes through your window?
A: Start swimming.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through something so tiny.