Keep Laughing Forever Favourite Jokes
Keep Laughing Forever with these Funny One Liner Jokes!
One difference between men and women is that when a woman says
"smell this", it usually smells nice.
I think my wife has started to show the first signs of Alzheimers...
She said she can't remember what she ever saw in me!
I recently purchased a toilet brush.
Long story short I'm going back to toilet paper.
I went for a walk with a girl the other day.
When she noticed me, we went for a run.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
How do you introduce a hamburger?
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked suprised.
The shinbone is a device used for locating furniture in a dark room.
I almost dropped my phone on my soft carpeted floor, but thank god I have got lightning reflexes and was able to slap it into the wall instead.
A recent study has shown that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
If you ever see me out jogging, please kill whatever is chasing me.
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV "don't go in there!, don't go in the church you moron!"
She is watching our wedding video again.
On Monday we start diarrhea awareness week.
It runs all week.
I scared the mailman today by coming to the door naked.
I am not sure what scared him more, the fact that I was naked or that I knew where he lived.
Dear Santa, I would like a new birthday suit this year.
My current one is old, wrinkled and sagging.
Did you hear about the burglar who fell into a cement mixer?
He was a hardened criminal